


Diabolik Lobsters

by LadyDiana2000



Category: Diabolik Lovers
Genre: F/M, Meme
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 22:57:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14861915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDiana2000/pseuds/LadyDiana2000
Summary: Just a stupid drabble about the Diabolik Lovers boys as crustaceans. Lots of puns. I'm not sorry.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mythicamagic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mythicamagic/gifts).



Once upon a time, in the faraway lands of the Ocean, there were six princely crustacean brothers. Living in crabby turmoil, they couldn’t stand each other, for the most part. Living in a mass of coral at the very darkest bottom of the sea, they were the most sadistic decapods she had ever laid eyes on.  
The eldest- a lazy, light-shelled body, that would move slowly until something ~caught~ his interest, like this fish they would so often see struggling on a line. His younger brother- an intelligent entity, with eyesight so poor he could only make out his surroundings within the seafloor’s silt because of some glass he had found and fashioned. Next, and only half brothers to the former, were the Triplets. The first, a proud, crabpricious being with a shell of the brightest red. The next, a shrimpossibly difficult one, whose moods were as difficult to navigate as the sea itself. Following them, arguably the most diabolical: a being of absolute fuckery, literally and figuratively. Another half to all, but no less important- the Hermit.  
And so it came to be that she was forced to stay with these deviant decapods.


	2. Chapter 2

One fine midsummer day (not that the silly creatures would know it was one) finds the brothers assembled around a makeshift table. A bright pink coral and dotted with anemone and other small forms of life, the six have a discussion.  
“Chirp chirp chirp,” says Reiji, derisively. An annoyed, sleepy chirp resounds in response from Shuu. Narrowing his already beady eyes, Reiji chirps once more and his older brother’s drift closed. Reiji next turns to Laito, chirping in a more warning tone.  
“Chirp~” Laito responds flirtatiously. Subaru screams, turning quickly and scuttling away.


	3. Chapter 3

A few hours pass, and the causation for the brothers’ conversation arrives at the palace. A small crab, delicate and soft in nature (figuratively soft, dear reader, not physically. Chitin is similar to a boy in the throes of puberty) approached the opening. Blinking like a lost doe, she bubbles some sort of questioning sound, before another figure approaches. Ayato smirks, at least internally, and chirps at her to enter. She complies, unaware of what her future would hold, but liking the colour of dat shell.


	4. Chapter 4

The lady crab sits upon her bed, which is really just a piece of floor she had decided is a little more comfortable to rest upon. Ayato approaches, frowning in a way that only crabs can. He burbles something, wishing desperately for words with which he could better communicate his jackassery, but only a somewhat obnoxious chirp is available to him. He approaches her, the very picture of sadistic wrath and bites her.  
Or, well, he tries. Crabs do not have teeth. Well, they do, in their stomachs, but this is not a vore fic, dear reader, so we must cut it short. The female crab turned to him, gave him one look, and left, tired already of his bullshit. She reflects shortly about men, how the colours of shells are hardly indicators of what is inside, before wandering to a better place full of delicious crab things.  
As for the vampire crab boys? They suck.


End file.
